MISSING PEOPLE

IT IS WEIRD HOW ONE PERSON CAN DRIVE YOU SO CRAZY, AND WHEN THEY ARE GONE YOU MISS THEM MORE THAN EVER. I HAVE NEVER FELT THE SENSE OF LOSS THAT I FEEL NOW. I DIDN'T FEEL THIS WAY WHEN I PLACED BRITA FOR ADOPTION. I AM NOT SURE IF I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING, OR IF THE RIGHT THING IS TO GET ON MEDICATION MYSELF. I KNOW MEDICATION WOULD STABILIZE ME BUT WHO KNOWS IF HE WOULD WAIT FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. I MEAN WHO WOULD WANT TO WAIT. I AM NOT NICE TO HIM AND YET HE KEEPS TRYING TO MAKE ME HAPPY. IF I WHERE HIM I WOULD HAVE WALKED A LONG TIME AGO. SO I WILL DO THE MEDICATION AND HOPE THAT WHEN I AM STABILIZED HE WILL STILL BE THERE WAITING. I REALLY CAN'T SEE MYSELF WITH OUT HIM AND I THINK MOST OF THE PROBLEMS ARE ME. FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT REALLY KNOW ME YOU KNOW I AM A BIT BI-POLAR. WELL IT IS TIME TO EXCEPT THIS AND GET ON MEDICATION FOR IT SO I CAN SAVE MY MARRIAGE.