MRI'S SUCK

WELL YESTERDAY WAS THE DAY FOR THE MRI AND IT SUCKED. I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ONE IF THEY DON'T GIVE ME DRUGS. IT HURTS MY BACK NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE FOR HOURS. IT LITERALLY TOOK AT LEAST TWO HOURS. IT WAS A JOKE. EVER SINCE I HURT MY BACK I CAN'T LAY LIKE THAT FOR THAT LONG. SO WHEN I HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE I NEED TO BE SEDATED SO THAT IT DOESN'T HURT SO MUCH OR I JUST DON'T CARE LOL. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. I AM STILL IN PAIN TODAY, BUT NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT IS JUST LIFE. I WOULD FEEL WEIRD AND WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IF I WENT A WHOLE DAY WITH OUT HURTING. SO MAYBE PAIN IS THE NATURAL PART OF LIFE. MAYBE I WILL ALWAYS BE IN PAIN. SO THERE IS NO REASON TO KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. SO MY GOAL FOR THE NEXT LITTLE WHILE IS TO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS I CAN'T CHANGE. I ALSO AM NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT THINGS THAT I CAN'T CHANGE OR TRY NOT TOO. I AM GOING TO GO WITH THE FLOW OF THINGS LOL.

EACH DAY THAT GOES BY I GET LESS AND LESS SCARED ABOUT THE NEW MEDICINE THAT I HOPE I GET TO TAKE. MY NEW THING IS WHAT IS LIFE WITH OUT TAKING RISKS. EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE IS ABOUT RISKS AND TAKING THEM. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE IS ABOUT THE RISKS. EVERY DECISION WE MAKE IS TAKING A RISK OF SOME SORT. THERE IS NOTHING IN LIFE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A RISK TO GO WITH IT. NOW SOME RISKS ARE GREATER THAN OTHERS, BUT WHO AT SOME POINT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE A LIFE OR DEATH DECISION. IT WASN'T AN EASY DECISION BUT ONE THAT IF I DIDN'T MAKE IT I WOULD REGRET IT. SO I MADE THE BEST ONE FOR ME AND I HOPE THAT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHY I MADE THE DECISION THAT I DID. I DIDN'T DO IT TO HURT ANYONE JUST DID IT CAUSE I NEEDED TO KNOW AND SO THAT I DON'T LOOK BACK AND WONDER WHY AND BE MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT MAKING IT. SO WE WILL GIVE IT A SHOT AND TAKE WHAT LIFE HANDS ME AND DEAL WITH IT FROM THERE.